Well, I've had better days. Today I have to stop breastfeeding and I am dissapointed. I know there are some brightsides to it,but I know I will miss this time with Adeline. I had to start a new medication yesterday to help curb my anxiety. Yes, I am a worrier and with the move, the baby, the renovation the sale of the house and the zero money until the house changes hands(like ZERO - not even available credit - ZERO!!!)and now this thing with Clayton at school and trying to mak changes to our day to day life, I guess I'm not handling it well. Well, I think I handle stress fine. I don't really know what stress is suppose to feel like, but I guess mybody does and it says TOO MUCH!! It tells me by making it hard for me to swallow, a lost appetite and a constant reminder that something is wrong...so the pills. They are a hard transition too becuase they take som getting used to. So, after talking with my doctor, we decided that Adleine has gotten some good boob food and it's better for her to go onformula. It's hard not to feel like a failure or that I will be judged for making this decision but with everything going on, I think it will be better. I'm looking at the positive side. Preston will be happy becuase I can go on the pill again. He wont be happy though because he will realise I can more easily leave the baby with him and ask him to feed her. With the many many things going on right now, passing her to Preston will free me up to do those things, like bringing more routines and structure to our home.
I have a meeting with Clayton at the hospital on Dec 4th and they will just go through our peronal history and stuff. I honstly think they will find nothing significantly wrong with him and they will just tell us a few things that we can be doing at home to help him more at school. I do not see a troubled child. However, now that they have identified him at school, I am afraid of him getting labeled. My dad is a teacher and he had a few strong opinions about it and his fear of Clayton getting labeled. Well, I go to Claytons school today at 2:30 to see him. ALl the parents get a 15 minute observation so hopefully I will see the behaviour she is talking about. Anyways. Next post will be happy:)
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5 comments:
Hey I feel for you. Been there! I got judged for quitting breastfeeding, well poo on all those people. And meds will be good, sometimes we need to take them to give our brains the kickstart they need. Oh ya and dont worry about Clayton too much. Been there too, if they dont find anything just realize you can always rely on the lord for help with him!:)Hope things get less stressful for you, now that your not breastffeeding, a trip to the temple with your hubby would be perfect!
I'm sorry things are't going to well for ya. I know the feeling about deciding between your health and breastfeeding, unfortunatly so far I chose breastfeeding so we'll see how much longer I can go. Try and stay positive you will get through this! Trust me i've had my share of hard times and now I can look back on them and ne proud of myself I got through them alive!! ;) take care
Hey, I'm sorry your having a rough time. Good for you for doing what it takes to take care of YOU. Your family will be better off. And Adeline won't even remember when she is older. I hope things get easier soon. Hugs!
hey, I feel for ya, but dont worry too much about all the bad stuff that comes with labelling. Ive worked for a few associations that work one on one with those kids and I think thats the best thing for them. Get them the help they need while they are young. It doesnt have to last forever.. sometimes they just need a little oomp at the beginning and by the time they are old enough to care or other kids notice, your kid will be past all that. Its best to get Clayton the help now.
The best thing for a baby is to have a happy, healthy mommy. Don't beat yourself up over having to quit breastfeeding. It's none of anyone's business, so screw 'em if they try and make you feel like you're not making the 'right' choice.
If there are concerns about Clayton's behavior - before they try and talk you into medicating him, call my mom and ask her about food allergies. I bet he's just fine, but I wanted to pass that on just in case.
(((HUGS)))
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