Tough Day

Well, I've had better days. Today I have to stop breastfeeding and I am dissapointed. I know there are some brightsides to it,but I know I will miss this time with Adeline. I had to start a new medication yesterday to help curb my anxiety. Yes, I am a worrier and with the move, the baby, the renovation the sale of the house and the zero money until the house changes hands(like ZERO - not even available credit - ZERO!!!)and now this thing with Clayton at school and trying to mak changes to our day to day life, I guess I'm not handling it well. Well, I think I handle stress fine. I don't really know what stress is suppose to feel like, but I guess mybody does and it says TOO MUCH!! It tells me by making it hard for me to swallow, a lost appetite and a constant reminder that something is wrong...so the pills. They are a hard transition too becuase they take som getting used to. So, after talking with my doctor, we decided that Adleine has gotten some good boob food and it's better for her to go onformula. It's hard not to feel like a failure or that I will be judged for making this decision but with everything going on, I think it will be better. I'm looking at the positive side. Preston will be happy becuase I can go on the pill again. He wont be happy though because he will realise I can more easily leave the baby with him and ask him to feed her. With the many many things going on right now, passing her to Preston will free me up to do those things, like bringing more routines and structure to our home.
I have a meeting with Clayton at the hospital on Dec 4th and they will just go through our peronal history and stuff. I honstly think they will find nothing significantly wrong with him and they will just tell us a few things that we can be doing at home to help him more at school. I do not see a troubled child. However, now that they have identified him at school, I am afraid of him getting labeled. My dad is a teacher and he had a few strong opinions about it and his fear of Clayton getting labeled. Well, I go to Claytons school today at 2:30 to see him. ALl the parents get a 15 minute observation so hopefully I will see the behaviour she is talking about. Anyways. Next post will be happy:)

House

So this house is soooo ugly (this post isn't helping my resolve to stop whining in my blog) nd we are planning on doing many renovations. We tiled the bathroom last weekend and this weekend, we are installing the toilet and sink, with the help of a plumber, and tiling the landry room. It's hard to picture this ugly house, so I took some pictures. You can see I tried to paint the kitchen cablinets, and then we just decided we are going to gut it and smash out the wall to the silly little room beside it and make it a little bigger. Along the back of this house, there are 3 rooms. nd they are all tiny so we will have to smash out some walls somewhere. Today our 'guy' will tell us which one isn't load bearing. This room is the dumbest. It is tiny with a fireplace and a huge set of doors. I lady with the same model house says it is suppose to be the family room. It fits a love seat. Thats really it. So we are going to make it our nook and have it open to the kitchen.

As you can see, I did no cleaning for these photos.
Then there is the livingroom. So long and silly, I don't know what to do with this room. Prestons tv will have to go in the basement. It is too big for the room.

I'll have to post more later, but these are he rooms that hurt methe most. I am not a good at design, so I'm nervous about making the wrong decision. Hopefully, but February, I can post beautiful pics of our new home.

People read my blog?

I was under the impression no one read my blog but I've had 2 new commenters the last few days! Which means, I have to stop whining so much:) So, here is a picture of my beautiful children. They were incredibly loud and mean to eachother yesterday, but look how cte they are when they smile?

Intelligent?

So, the human race is suppose to be the most intelligent, right? Thn why are we so stupid and lazy? I wonder why we make fun or scoff at smokers and then go have a Big Mac. You might not, but I do, and I think a lot of other people do to. Poor diet is just as unhealthy as smoking. We do a lot of other dumb things like not exercising even though it is PROVEN to do our bodies good. Or we don't drink enough water because we don't like the taste. It just makes me wonder how smart we really are if we do such harm to our bodies. The crappy thing is I don't want to change. I still want to eat fatty foods...they are YUMMY!! I guess I'll change with my first heart attack. That is something e humans also do is wait for tragity to say I'll be better. We had an experience with CLayton this week, his teacher told us he was going to go for testing because he is loud during quiet time and likes the toys to be put in the spot they belong (huh?) Anyways, for years I've been telling Preston we need more structure in our home. WHere are they going to learn it? We need to all eat at the table at dinner and not leave t until we are done. We need to read our scriptures and make the kids listen. Well, I've been ignored for years and NOW that we've been presented with a problem, he pipes up and says we need to have the tv off more. HELLO...COMMON SENSE??!!
ANyways..dumb humans. When will we learn.

Nursing issues

Adeline is a great baby. She sleeps well and smiles a lot. She isn't fussy in the evenings anymore but she still likes to be held a bit. However, overthe past few weeks I've been unhappy with her eating habits. It started with her pulling off or not staying on very well for the first few minutes. I thought maybe she developed a bad latch. Anyways, I would spray milk everywhere when she pulled/fell off. Now, over the past several days. She will sck for 10 seconds and pull off and yell at me. The other day, she hadn't eaten in 41/2 hours so I knew she was hungry but she did the same thing. She wasn't overly grumpy though so it made me question whether she was even hungry but it had ben over 4 hours. She should have been. I had to get Kayla from school so I didn't have a lot of time to waste. She was getting a litle grumy so I threw some formula into a bottle and she sucked 2 ounces back quick. That made me realize she has a problem with me. SO, now I have to figure it out. Huh.

Life

There,I finally put a picture on of Adeline. See her perfect head? I love that it is cute and round. I stare at her all the time. I thought I'd have gotten over it by now...but I haven't. I am so greatful to her for being a good sleeper. Im thinking back to Clayton who woke every 2 hours, and then struggled to go back to sleep and I would cry and even want to throw him out the window. This girl sleeps 8 hours every night before waking and is getting happier in the day time everyday. Easy baby and I am greatful as my other two are a handful right now. They don't keep me busy all the time, but when I ask them to do something I get ignored. Well, Clayton is best at ignoring, which I prefer to Kaylas refusal. I never wanted to be a nag, but they make me one. Part of it is my fault. I need to make sure they are listening before I talk. Tv off. I guess then if they don't jump up and respond, they go to their room? I am not confident in y discipline techniques,I either need to change it, or not feel so bad when I send them to their room for not getting ontop of their chores. Uggghhhh.
Anywas, Our House in Calgary is c/s. It c/s in less that 24 hours. We priced it real agressively. Our realtor told us 75 houses were on the market last month in Chaparral and only 4 sold....very sad. However, we will still make money on the house so it was o.k. to price it so low. I;m crossing my fingers that everything goes through. We are starting to get going on this house. I'm trying to get painting done as often as I can, Preston has started to pull up the floor in the bathroom and laundry so we can lay tile. He is going to try it on his own...he's never done tile before. The kitchen re-design will be the hardest and most expensive. It's kind of exciting becuase we've never done a reno before and we want to do it and make money on it if we sell in the spring. I think I'll take pictures,before and after. Hmmm...I'm gonna do it now.

6 weeks

Wow, we are at 6 weeks. Adeline had her chedck up today and she has gained about 2lbs since birth making her 9lbs1oz. She is healthy and a good sleeper and I couldn't ask for much more. I remember only 3 weeks ago I was thinking how nice it will be whe she is 2, and less work. Right now it is round the clock and I have no time for myself. I've discovered over the past week that I really do like the baby stage. I want to look at her all the time becuase she is just sooooo cute. And she's only gonna get big and smelly like the other two:) People are always telling me how small she is and it kinda drives me nuts. I don't know why. She does look small, mostly becyase she has a small head(which runs in my hubbys family) and it makes her look small. But also, I need to realize that people aren't used to seeing month old babies everyday and ofccourse they think she looks small. I know though that she is gaining well so for now I will just smile when they say it. I am o.k. too. Unfortunately, I am not completely healed so Preston is going to be disappointed tonight:) I'm excited to start exercising. I am 8 lbs from my pre pregnancy weight, not that it is a target for me because I wasn't exactly in shape before I got pregnant. I'd like to loose a little but then gain some muscle. I've never been good at working out but I was so miserable being fat and pregnant this time that I think I might be more determined.
I went to Bulk Barn last week and bought a whole pile of different grains and I'm excpted to use them in recipes. I realize that it is easy to make healthy some diskes we eat regularly This week I worked with wild rice and added them to meatballs and taco meat. I'm going to make some couscous stuffed peppers and some chicken millet patties. I also cooked up some Quinoa, maybe I'll dump it into meatloaf or some thanksgiving stuffing. So many ideas and so healthy. I bought some purple sweeties (potatoes) too and they were very healty and sweeter and yummier than sweet potatoes(I don't like sweet potatoes. Unfortunately, I still crave sugar, but atleast I'm making my meals healthier so it makes the sugar a little more o.k. to eat.
Well, Kayla is just wraping up her jazz class. SHe likes to dance and has lots of energy and these classes are doing her well. Clayton still enjoys Happy Hoops (basketball) and looks forward to getting better everytime. He says he wants to be like daddy and play basketball. I honestly think he will end up exceling at an independant sport like karate, which he also likes, but we will just have to see where his interests go.